Hate’s a strong word. At first, I used the word “dislike”, but after thinking about so many of the things I disliked about social media and the consequences of all of those things, I realized that I truly hate what social media does to people. As a result of those negative effects, there are so many people out there who are depressed, deeply unsatisfied, or viciously living for people’s approval. And that’s not okay.
As much as I love social media and see the benefits of its use, there are several cons about the common apps and platforms we use on a daily basis.
I’m writing this post as a loving reminder if you’re scrolling through your feeds and feeling discontent and unhappy about your life. I’ve become the biggest proponent of vocalizing that the things we see on social media are the most inaccurate representations of our actual lives.
In my previous post, “The Cons of Social Media” I discussed how discouraging it was observing a large majority of people glued to their phones/devices even as they’re “socializing” on dates, outings, or playdates. Since I touched upon that aspect of why I dislike social media, I wanted to add a few other observations to the list.
So here are the top 5 reasons I hate social media:
1. Only people’s highlight reels are shown.
Realistically, no one is going to post pictures of the basic, mundane day-to-day activities like running errands, a rough day at work, doing household chores, dealing with difficult family situations, tantrumy little ones, and the list goes on. Even when we post pictures of what we eat on a daily basis, family photos, events at the workplace, or whatever else we do on a daily basis, they’re captured in a way that’s not 100% true-to-life and genuine. Very rarely are candid moments truly captured, and if they are, photos are still carefully selected, edited, and posted with a caption that represents that photo in the best light.
I’m not just talking about cyber-bullying for the younger teens or college students. As a lifestyle blogger in my mid 20’s, I had one surprising incident where a fully-grown, middle-aged blogger directed a comment towards me because I had simply unfollowed her. This particular blogger and I had no sort of relationship or friendship whatsoever, she had just reached out to me a few months prior to this incident asking if I’d support her blogging journey since she lived in the same state as me. My reason for unfollowing her was very simple, and with no malicious intent at all. Her negative outlook on life/people was evident in the posts she’d share, and I didn’t want to see that on my feed. And that’s it.
In general, I am very particular and selective about who I follow on social media because I’m aware of the effects that social media has on people, including myself, so I purposely set clear boundaries and only follow friends or other bloggers who share content I find inspiring, uplifting, or encouraging. I will never tolerate any sort of negativity or hate. Especially as a believer and a young mom.
After that incident, though my gut reaction was to respond and call her out on her strange, immature behavior (like I said, we didn’t know each other at all), I just let it go. It wasn’t worth losing sleep over. And it was clear to me that her actions were driven by deep insecurity, despite her vast following, which I’m assuming is why someone would constantly keep track of who unfollows them.
That experience exposed me to a side of blogging I never expected or anticipated, but is definitely a rare occurrence, as the majority of lifestyle bloggers I’ve connected with over the past year via Instagram are genuinely supportive, encouraging, and loving. Several of them are other moms and believers who share the same hope and overall vision that I have, to spread positivity and light to others.
3. Picturesque photos aren’t as effortless as they seem.
Whether it’s couples in love, happy families, scenic travels, or snippets of accomplishments in one’s personal or professional life, a picture is simply a picture. In all the photoshoots that I’ve ever been a part of, whether professional or personal, the perfect photo is typically never captured in one single shot. No one is going to post a picture of themselves fighting with their loved ones or friends. Or at their least-flattering angle. Or on a really bad day. We all struggle and live imperfect lives, but of course, we don’t post those things for the world to see.
4. People use it as a platform to boast or brag about their lives.
I heard a sermon one Sunday at Watermark Church in Dallas where the pastor made a joke referring to Instagram as Insta-brag. Everyone laughed because well, it’s true. I mentioned in my 2nd point how I’m very selective about who I choose to follow, and this is no different. If someone is going to post a picture of themselves all dolled up and follow up with a caption claiming “I woke up like this” or “No make-up selfie” (when it’s clear that’s not the case) I will not hesitate to remove that junk from my feed.
This isn’t to be harsh or offensive, but I’m very aware that what we choose to see, watch, or surround ourselves with, subconsciously affects our thinking, flows into our hearts, and eventually flows out of our actions. My blog is based on the simple truth that being imperfect and embracing our imperfections is beautiful, and I’m serious about that message and sincerely living it out in my own life.
5. There’s too much accessibility to explicit things.
As a young mom, I’m in an interesting limbo between two worlds. Being in my mid 20’s, I’m still a millennial, so I’m well-aware of the dependency, frequency of use, and even the benefits of social media.
Yet as a mom to a toddler, I’ve become quite cautious and worried about the prospects of my son’s future, witnessing how technologically centered this world is becoming. And while technology and innovation is wonderful, it comes at a cost.
Pornography is more and more accessible now than it’s ever been. There are so many dark, horrifying things on the web that people in previous generations simply didn’t and couldn’t have access to. Now, even on social media, there’s explicit images and speech, straight up nudity, or posts advocating for a life of violence and drugs. This is yet another reason why I’m selective in what I choose to follow and see, and encourage others to do so as well.
When it comes to my little one, I know there will be a day where he grows up and is exposed to the brokenness and dangers of this world. And as his mom, as much as I wish I could protect him from all of those things, I pray that he would be able to discern right from wrong, which ultimately boils down to how he’s raised. Which is a reminder for me every single day, to be the best influence I can be for him as his mom.
Those are the top 5 reasons why I personally despise social media, which are also the reasons behind why I started promoting a counter-cultural message through this platform when I first launched my blog this past May.
It’s been a while since I’ve written a post this long, but this has been a subject that’s been on my heart for quite some time. For those of you guys that don’t know, in January of 2017, I will officially be a full-time Lifestyle Blogger as a brand ambassador for several of my favorite beauty, fashion, and travel brands.
However, I realize that although my passion and hobby for blogging has blossomed into a career opportunity, this is not my main focus and priority. Ultimately, my relationship with God and my family comes first, without a single doubt. So while “full-time” implies a long-term commitment, I am very set on the fact that I will not sacrifice the well-being of my spiritual + family life in lieu of these secondary pursuits.
I truly believe that God has blessed this entire blogging/YouTube venture as a way to encourage and uplift others, and to spread a much-needed message of transparency and hope in a lonely, self-oriented, and broken world. I’m not doing this to promote my own personal agenda, or to focus on myself in general. And while there are so many reasons I dislike social media as I mentioned above, I also see the good amidst all of that, especially as various opportunities have presented themselves, and the passion to shine Christ’s light through these ventures continues to grow and grow.
If you’re reading this and you feel overwhelmed by everything you see on your social feeds, don’t worry. You’re not alone. You are not the only imperfect one in a sea of seemingly perfect, put-together people. We are all imperfect. Whatever you need to do, whether it’s stepping away from social media temporarily or getting rid of it all together, do it. Ultimately, whatever is best for your overall well-being and walk with God.
I just uploaded my quick YouTube hair tutorial I filmed while in San Juan, Puerto Rico on how to achieve perfect curls in under 5-minutes:
After returning from San Juan, I collaborated with an incredible salon in NYC for my first balayage/hair-painting experience. They transformed my entire look and brightened up my locks with these shades of ashy blonde and light brown below:
If you’ve been wondering what lashes I’ve been wearing recently and in my most recent photo above, you can purchase them here at a discounted price using my code “ImperfectlyBeautiful” for 10% off. These are literally my favorite lashes of all-time, and I’ve tried everything from higher-end brands to the ones you find in the beauty aisle at Target. These are super comfortable, can be worn 15+ times, and accentuate my eyes beautifully.
I’ll talk to you guys in the New Year! Have a blessed week!