I remember when I first stepped on the scale during my last trimester of pregnancy, eyes bulging, mouth gaping. “207 pounds?!”
I vowed I’d never share that number with anyone except my husband, as I knew if I told my family members, the harsh comments and criticism would be non-stop. I figured that after having the baby, I’d be at least 20-30 pounds lighter. I set myself up for a very rude awakening, as I realized I lost a mere 7 pounds about 2 weeks after giving birth.
So here I am today, 16 months later, and still 200 pounds. I’m not ashamed to share that number anymore, as the scale no longer defines me. As I mentioned in my very first post, “What I Learned From Gaining 60 Pounds”, it’s really not about the numbers. Or to simply be skinny again. I’m doing this for the sake of my health and overall well-being. I’m sick of feeling sick. Tired of feeling tired.
I’ve decided to take my weight loss journey a step further, by sharing it with the community of bloggers + followers around me, as a way to keep myself more accountable. I first tried losing the baby weight when my little one was 3 months old about a year ago, and was able to lose about 20 of the 60 pounds I gained. But I quickly lost my momentum, after becoming a full-time student while caring for my toddler and traveling bi-weekly from NJ to TX.
I felt defeated, and told myself that there’s nothing wrong with accepting this newfound curvier figure of mine. But over time, I realized that it wasn’t about body acceptance. It was about my health. Everything from my back, neck, calves, and overall health was suffering. My muscles were constantly aching, and I was chronically tired. The doctor warned me of having an abnormal white blood cell count, and encouraged me to rest more + make healthier changes.
So here I am, body still aching as I’m typing this post, hopeful and ready for yet another start. Since I know myself well, I know my limits. And I told myself that this needs to be a gradual plan that I can realistically maintain. Failure is only human, so I know that going into this, I need to be discerning and forgiving, since I have the tendency to be hard on myself. I pray that this journey would not be something that I make an idol of, but that even through something as arbitrary as weight loss, God would be glorified through it.
Usually when people write about their weight-loss journey, they have a goal weight. And while it’d be nice to lose all the pregnancy weight (60 lbs), I’m not setting a number for myself anymore. Because if I do, I know that’ll lead to a road of obsessing over the scale. So here’s my goal weight: whatever number I happen to be when I feel healthy again. No numbers. No pressure.
After I publish this post, I’m going to start by drinking my Green Juice from BluePrint and go for a run at a nearby park in about an hour. Here’s to health, in a God-glorifying way.
Let me know your thoughts down below as the week goes by, would love to hear about your personal journey with weight loss (or gain!)